


Halcyon

by Block_Exo



Series: Belated Bloom Series [2]
Category: EXO (Band), NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Drama, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, M/M, Pack Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24514552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Block_Exo/pseuds/Block_Exo
Summary: Side story #1 of the Belated Bloom Universe series:When Renjun first met Yixing he had no idea what his Hyung had gone through. He had no clue what hid beneath the surface of that sweet smile. But he would soon come to find out just how far gone his hyung really was.This is the story of how Huang Renjun met Zhang Yixing and how they became so close (as portrayed in Belated Bloom).
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun & Zhang Yixing | Lay
Series: Belated Bloom Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1625788
Comments: 10
Kudos: 39





	1. Foreword

**Just a few things to notes before diving in:**

**1.)** This story begins when Yixing is in town for the awards shows in winter, specifically January 2015. This is before Tao left (Aug 2015). Luhan and Kris left in the past 6 months before this.

**2.)** If you know the timeline well, here's a warning. I changed the timeline in which the NCT boys enter SM- all trainees will have entered by Jan. 2015 (instead of Jan 2016). But they will still 'debut' and stuff at the correct time.

**3.)** I will be omitting Hansol simply because I don’t know him really, and wouldn’t be able to do his character justice, I don’t want to miswrite him (because I know some who read this might be his fans), and it’s just easier this way…sorry if that offends you, truly. It’s just he’s not the main focus and this isn’t even set in the normal world- So I can just make up rules, right? 

**A/N: I think that's about it for important info before reading this. I hope you enjoy this side story! I think many Belated Bloom fans enjoyed the sweet relationship between Renjun and Yixing from Bleated Bloom, so I was excited to write this for you all :) This story is a two-shot, and is Renjun-centric POV wise, but Yixing's storyline is the main focus technically. So, yeah, love you all! Enjoy the story!**

**Love, Block_Exo**

****


	2. Halcyon I

****

**"nnnnn" - Chinese ;** "nnnnn"- Korean

Renjun stared wide-eyed as the elevator gave a soft bell toll when it finally came to a complete stop, and the doors smoothly opened, revealing a bare hallway.

It was hard for him to believe anything in the SM building could look so unappealing, everything had been so bright and glamorous on all the other floors. But this floor looked very…bland.

Their tour guide, Taeyong, swiftly exited the lift and cutely gestured for them to follow.

“And this is the dance studio floor, where you will probably be spending most of your time- literally,” he said, a soft, charming smile making its way onto his face.

Renjun had only met Lee Taeyong 3 days ago, but he already liked him. The alpha was kind and attentive, always trying to find ways to help them out as they settled into their new life under SM entertainment. The older trainee had a sharp, handsome face with round dark eyes, always filled with warmth. His long black hair flopping to the side, almost covering one of his eyes. The older boy was an idol dream- the face of a prince, with the body of a dancer.

Renjun had been intimidated by him at first, but Taeyong had quickly won him over with his warm charms and disarming smiles. And after watching the kind alpha help all of them the past three days, he could see why the other trainees said they viewed the handsome alpha as an unofficial mom of sorts.

Next, the older, taller beta of the group stepped out after Taeyong and cheerfully waved for the group to follow as well giving them a blinding smile.

“Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as Taeyong makes it sound- you won't be here ALL the time. Taeyong-ah is just dramatic.”

This is Johnny, a giant that towered over Renjun- which wasn’t hard considering how small he was. But Johnny wasn’t just tall, he was shockingly tall- one of the tallest trainees Renjun had met.

But once again, just like he had with Taeyong, Renjun had quickly grown fond of Johnny. Even though it had just been a few days, he almost couldn’t believe he had been scared of him when they had first met. Johnny cracked jokes left and right, yet he was firm when he needed to be serious. Renjun found himself seeking out Johnny whenever the older boy was in the room, always being drawn in by the beta’s comforting, friendly presence.

Most of the trainees seemed to view Johnny, as the ‘dad’ of the group. It was strange; the beta being the dad, the alpha being the mom- but he could definitely see their roles suited them well. 

“Jo~hnny” Taeyong whined, “Don’t tell them that!” the alpha gave a childish huff and stomped his foot in indignation.

_‘Cute’_ Renjun couldn’t help but giggle at the alpha's pouting.

Slowly everyone moved out of the elevator to stand awkwardly in a squished blob in the small hallway. None of them willing to step past the two older trainees before them.

Taeyong swatted at Johnny's arm with a playful glare. "I am NOT dramatic, you are the dramatic one"

As if one queue, Johnny let out a dramatic gasp and clutched at his arm as if the alpha had clawed it off, “T.Y track, why?!” the beta whined back.

Taeyong glared, "Baby" he taunted.

And so, the two went back and forth rapidly in Korean, firing off mock-insults at each other.

Renjun sighed, turning around to look at the confused faces of his fellow-new-trainees. 

On his far left was a very tall boy (second only to Johnny) whose name was Yukhei- not yet old enough to present, but had such an alpha personality that Renjun wouldn’t be surprised if the older boy presented as such. He was loud and obnoxious, but kind of adorable, like a giant puppy.

Next to Yukhei was the tiny Chenle, looking even smaller standing so close to Yukhei. He was younger than Renjun and unpresented of course. Chenle always had a mischievous smile on his face, and always had a good quip ready to go- too bad none of the other SM trainees could understand him. Chenle was hilarious.

Next to the small boy was a taller, lithe boy with sharp eyes and an even sharper jawline, his name was Sicheng. He was older than Chenle and Renjun but had a quiet and cute demeanor. Sicheng was like Taeyong, in that he was always watching over them and taking care of them. So Sicheng had quickly become his ‘Chinese mom’ and Taeyong his ‘Korean mom’.

Lastly, a slightly smaller boy, with a round face and warm eyes with a smile to match, stood huddled closely to Sicheng. His name was Kun, he was also older than Renjun and had presented as an omega just this year, or so Kun had told them. He was quiet and calm, like Sicheng, and always offered cute smiles whenever Renjun said hello. But they had yet to really get to know one another.

They all, including Renjun, had joined SM in the past week and are all being given the grand tour together today- the only problem was none of them spoke Korean.

Renjun was the only one in the group of new trainees who spoke Korean, having grown up learning both Korean and Mandarin.

He didn’t mind translating, but he felt ridiculous having to translate some of Taeyong and Johnny’s corny jokes, especially since most of their hilarity was lost in translation.

Sighing in slight annoyance Renjun began giving the four confused boys the shortened translation of what was currently happening behind him. The four boys surrounding him listened diligently, eyes darting between Renjun and the bickering duo behind him.

**“Taeyong-ge says this is where the dance studios are, and we will be spending a lot of time here. Then Johnny-ge called him dramatic, then Taeyong-ge became angry and then-“**

“Renjun-ah!” Taeyong cut him off, all eyes now turning back to the duo down the hall, “Don’t translate this- just- let’s just go to the studio okay? And you-” Taeyong gave Johnny one last annoyed glare, “stop interrupting” he hissed playfully out before approaching Renjun and giving him a pat on the head.

“Thank you though Renjun-ah, I’m glad you’re here, you are doing a very good job.” Taeyong ended with a sweet smile and quickly turned and gestured for them to follow but Renjun stood frozen in place, in shock from the warm hand that had just pet his head.

_‘Di-did he just pet me? He’s proud of me?’ Renjun_ felt happiness blossom in his chest as he played the moment over and over again. He didn’t know why but he loved the affectionate attention Taeyong gave him- his anxieties always seemed to fade away.

And to be fair, moving to another country, leaving your family behind, and starting a career brought along crushing anxiety. It followed him around like a cloud every day since he had stepped foot in South Korea. So the slight brief respite from such anxiety was like a drink of water in the desert.

Renjun shook the thought away as he came back to himself, realizing the group was leaving him behind! Breaking into a swift jog, he caught up to the group that was already turning around the corner into the hallway.

As he rounded the corner, he spotted 4 doors lining the long hallway, two on each side. At the end of the short passageway, a pair of glass doors revealed a bridge? Connecting to another building?

His curiosity was almost immediately quenched by Taeyong who loudly proclaimed, “THESE are the dance studios, and across the way” he pointed to the glass doors, “Is another building with more studios and practice rooms”.

Yukhei raised his hand, looked to Renjun and asked, **“Who is that?”** pointing to his left, to one of the four doors that lined the hall. The door had a small window covering the top portion allowing them to see inside the studio.

Curiosity got the better of him, he moved to the door before he translated the question for their guides. He felt the others crowd around him as well- all of them watching a graceful figure move around the studio.

At first, he couldn’t see their face, the figure was turned away from them and he couldn’t see the reflection clearly.

But he was mesmerized as he watched the dancer move with such fluidity, probably more than he would ever have. As they watched, the dancer in the studio began transitioning to popping, throwing one arm out after another with precision, adding quick twists of his wrist, only to send a whole wave down his body before lastly flicking out his foot to finish.

_‘Woah’_ Renjun watched with rapt attention, his jaw-dropping _‘he’s amazing!’_

He would be jealous if he wasn’t so impressed. Renjun sometimes felt a bit clumsy himself when attempting to dance. Singing was more his strong suit- it’s what had gotten him into SM after all, but dancing- it would be hard for him to reach _this_ level.

A larger body leaned in closely, nearly making him jump as their hair tickled his cheek. Effectively breaking him from his reverie. 

“Oh! That’s Yixing- Hyung, wait, I mean Lay!” Johnny tripping over his words for a moment but sounding happy nonetheless.

“What?!” Renjun burst out, eyes going wide in amazement.

_‘That’s Zhang Yixing?!’_ his eyes hadn’t left the dancer, who was now stretching and taking a break it would seem. He could finally see his face and it was confirmed- THE Zhang Yixing was right there!

Renjun’s eyes followed his every move as he internally freaked out _. ‘That’s Lay, Lay’s here! I’m going to meet Zhang Yixing!’_

Back in China Exo was becoming huge- and everyone had heard about the Kris and Luhan situation. Renjun had been a fan before all of that though- he looked up to the Chinese members as role models. It wasn't easy to be Chinese in the k-pop industry, but it had been Renjun's dream for the past year- and Exo'd had _four_ Chinese members! Sadly, it was now only two, but Renjun had always been impressed by Exo-M's performance- particularly Lay. His soft high-pitched tone was similar to Renjun's, but the Changsha-born idol was also an amazing dancer to boot. Renjun could only hope to become like him someday.

Johnny gave him a curious look as Renjun’s eyes glazed over a bit.

“You okay there Renjun-ah?” looking back and forth between Renjun and Yixing, a knowing look quickly crossed his face, “Wait, I know that face” the taller beta leaned forward and poked Renjun’s cheek as he teased him.

“You’re a fan aren’t you!”

Renjun had been knocked out of his stupor by the offending hand still poking at his cheek and he swiftly pushed said hand away as he flushed a bright red in embarrassment.

“Hy~ung it’s not like that- I mean, I like him- but I’m not a crazy fan or anything! I promise! I just look up to him- I mean, I’ve seen him on TV-I love Exo- they're great, and-“

Loud laughter cut his rambling off and one of Johnny's large hands settled comfortingly on his shoulder.

Johnny held his other hand over his mouth, trying to stop the stray giggles as Renjun pouted at him. “Why are you laughing at me hyung?” 

Taeyong stepped up and pinched his cheek lovingly, “Because you're so cute.”

Renjun’s brain short-circuited for a moment at the touch but this time he didn’t completely freeze up like before. His annoyance overriding everything else.

“I’m not cute”, he mumbled angrily, scrubbing at the place he had been pinched before turning away from the giggling duo. Only now he was staring at four very confused trainees, all of them staring at him imploringly.

It took him a moment to realize why they were staring so intently at him- they were waiting for him to translate!

_‘Oh, crap- I completely forgot.’_

**“Sorry guys!”** he gushed apologetically, cheeks flaring up once more in embarrassment, **“Oh- um, so, yeah – that’s Zhang Yixing in the studio! He’s in Exo- His stage name is Lay”.**

They all looked surprised and looked back and forth between Renjun and the door.

**“That’s all?"** Kun asked after a second, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

**"What?"** Renjun tilted his head questioningly, looking slightly offended, _'Do they not know who Exo is? Do they not like Exo?'_

Quickly realizing his mistake, Kun put up his hands in surrender as he continued **"Sorry- I mean, it's totally cool that Lay is in there. But I'm confused, why did they laugh at you?”**

Like the flip of a switch, Renjun went from offended to embarrassed. Shyly scratching at the back of his neck, Renjun ducked his head apologetically **“Oh, hehe - sorry Kun-ge, it's okay."** once again he felt his cheeks warm up- he would probably permanently turn red at this point. **"Johnny gege and Taeyong gege were just making fun of me”** he mumbled out.

This time Chenle spoke up, **“Why? They weren’t being mean were they?”**

Renjun quickly looked back up, raising his hands in a placating gesture **, “No, no, no, no, no – it’s not like that! It wasn’t bad, they just think I’m-”,** he winced before admitting, **“They think I’m cute because I was ranting about liking Zhang Yixing gege.”**

Chenle giggled a little while the others simply smiled in amusement. Yukhei ruffled his hair and stepped forward to wrap one of his arms around Renjun’s shoulders.

**“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it's okay to have a crush Jun”** Yukhei crooned at him playfully.

_‘Oh God, I’m never gonna live this down’_ Renjun mentally groaned as he playfully pushed the giant puppy away. He wanted to find a rock and hide under it ASAP.

**“It’s not a crush okay! I just really admire him.”** Renjun groaned out, looking only half as annoyed as he felt. Still a bit wound up from Taeyong and Johnny’s teasing just moments ago.

Sicheng sent him a sly smirk, calmly stating, **“We believe you Renjun-ah”.** But by the look in the boy's eye, Renjun was one hundred percent sure he DIDN’T believe him one bit.

_‘Arrgghh- why me?...’_ With a sigh, he turned away from their smirking faces and looked back towards the dance studio.

To his surprise, Zhang Yixing was now sitting against a mirror looking like he wished the ground would swallow him whole. The Exo member’s eyes looked pained and he was curling up- like he wanted to make himself as small as possible.

At first, Renjun was worried Yixing had overheard them _, ‘Had he heard what they said, was he embarrassed, was he mad?’._ Zhang Yixing would have easily been able to understand everything they said, Korean and Chinese.

But not once did the Exo member glance over to the group at the door- if anything he seemed completely oblivious to their antics. The older idol just stared across the room of the studio with that painfully glazed look plastered firmly in place.

Renjun could hear the others moving on to some other topic, the sound filling up the space around him once more, but Renjun was now solely on the lonely figure on the studio floor. Drawn in by the haunting look on the other's face.

_‘He looks…’_

'Sad' was probably too light a word to describe the look on Zhang Yixing’s…but 'devastated' was too strong. The older boy before him seemed more…‘ _Sorrowful? Hurt maybe?’_

It was hard to pinpoint, but it was obvious he was in a bit of distress. Renjun suddenly had the urge to find out why. Wanted to wipe that sad look off his face- it was just too sad to look at.

**“We should go say hello”** he found himself saying as he moved to open the studio door. Quickly an arm blocked his way and pushed him back a step, away from the studio door.

_'What?'_ Looking sharply to his left he found it was Taeyong that had jumped forward, blocking his entrance into the studio.

Looking at him warily the alpha asked, “Wait, Renjun-ah what are you doing?” 

“Going inside?” Renjun answered, confused why Taeyong was trying to stop him.

Taeyong gave him a strained smile, “Look, Lay-hyung is super nice, I worked with him recently and I can confirm he’s like a literal angel-” Taeyong tilted his head to the side apologetically. “But Lay-hyung gets very serious when he’s in the studio, he doesn’t like interruptions.”

The boy before him paused before lowering his voice a bit, “I heard he even kicked Baekhyun-hyung out once because he was just sitting instead of dancing” Taeyong looked at him pleadingly, “so, let’s just go finish the tour and leave him be, okay? Johnny and I have to go soon and you guys have to go to your lesson right? So, let’s just leave him be, yeah?”.

Renjun understood what Taeyong was trying to do, but it didn’t stop him from wanting to step inside the studio and make sure the clearly distressed Exo member was okay.

“Sorry hyung” Renjun lightly pushed past Taeyong, “I’ll be back in a moment? Just give me a minute.”

Renjun hurriedly slipped through the door, hearing a chorus of “Renjun, no!” before the door closed soundly behind him.

The studio was larger than it had looked from the outside- lit from above by a smattering of track lighting. Leaving some areas bright and others in shadow. Zhang Yixing happened to be sitting in a shaded area, still curled up against a wall of mirror. The noise from the door closing must have been loud as it rang out through the silent room because a second later the older boy was on his feet. He gave Renjun a confused glance before his eyes darted around as if to check for other intruders.

When Yixing's wide eyes landed back on him he could see Yixing release a sigh of relief, his shoulders dropping a bit as he moved to lean back onto the wall. Trying and failing to look relaxed. Renjun could easily see the lingering sorrow in the other’s eyes.

_‘Well this is awkward, great first impression Renjun!’_ he berated himself as the awkward silence stretched on a few seconds longer. Both silently staring at the other.

“Hello-“

“Hi-“

Both froze as they spoke for the first time, overlapping their greetings, and becoming silent once more. Renjun blushed, bowing apologetically before politely pointing both his hands towards his sunbae, signaling for the older boy to go ahead.

Yixing smiled softly, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.

“Hello" Yixing's voice seemed slightly deeper than Renjun remembered it to be from the videos he had watched. "Sorry, uh- I don’t think I know you little one. I’m Lay from Exo. Are you a trainee?” from his tone, Renjun could tell he was doubtful. Renjun couldn’t blame him though, he knew he looked small and he was pretty young for a trainee- but he had met Jeno and Jisung so he knew SM had much younger trainees than him.

**“Yes, gege, excuse me- I’m sorry for interrupting you”** Renjun gave a quick bow of apology, **“I’m Huang Renjun, I’m new to SM Entertainment”.**

**“You’re from China?",** Yixing seemed startled for a moment before a large smile broke out on his face and he moved forward quickly to shake his hand and pat his back.

**"Where in China are you from? When did you audition? Have you moved into the dormitory well? How long have you been in Korea?”** Yixing began slowly leading him towards a padded bench he hadn’t noticed before, tucked around the side of the studio, out of sight of the door. Question after question came streaming out excitedly, a glimmer of happiness sparkling in the older beta’s eyes.

_‘He looks so much better when he’s smiling’_ Renjun thought as Yixing pushed him to sit down before sitting down next to him.

**“Can you speak any other languages? Did you join for dancing? Is that why you are here in the studio?”** Yixing’s questions seemed to be never-ending, chittering excitedly like a little kid. A complete turn around from his apparent mood just moments ago.

Renjun didn’t think this often of his elders, but this gege was adorable! He stared at Yixing, eyes wide in amazement _, ‘Isn’t he nine years older than me? How is he so adorable?’_

Sure, Zhang Yixing was sweet and cute on TV but this was a whole other level of cute.

Renjun felt his heart drop though as he remembered why he had even dared to enter the studio in the first place. Who or what had made Yixing sad?

Yixing must have noticed the shift in his demeanor because the older Chinese idol suddenly stopped talking, a look of worry passing over his face.

**“Are you okay? Am I overwhelming you? I'm sorry, um- Ren...Renjun? Right?”** Yixing looked almost bashful, but the worry was still prevalent. Renjun just stared at him, _'He said my name! He knows my name!- well, duh, I just told him it- But he said my name!!'_

Yixing leaned forward a bit, asking softly as if not to scare him, **“Are you okay Renjunnie?”**

Renjun’s heart gave a little leap at the sweet way he called his name once more _, ‘This gege really is so sweet- who hurt you?!’_

Giving Yixing a reassuring smile he nodded, embarrassed that he had just malfunctioned in front of his idol. But he was on a mission, a mission to find out why Yixing was sad.

**“I was a-actually going to ask _you_ that gege”** Renjun gulped, looking down guiltily, **“I was watching you from the window, you were dancing and looked so amazing! But then...you looked sad so I wanted to come in see if you were okay…”** he trailed off as his confidence bled away quickly. The more he spoke the more he realized how weird it sounded.

He refused to look up, he didn’t want to see the disturbed look Yixing was probably wearing after Renjun confessing to watching him like a creepy stalker. Renjun nervously he picked at the stitching on the couch cushion as he berated himself for making such a horrible first impression.

_‘I’m so stupid, now he’ll never want to see me again, he probably thinks I’m a creep. Why did I even come in here? He doesn't know me, why did I think I could help? I-''_

Renjun jumped as a slim, warm hand moved to rest on top of his own smaller hand- stopping his nervous fiddling. As he jumped the other hand withdrew slightly before carefully coming to rest pinky-to-pinky next to his own smaller hand. Silence filled the air as Renjun refused to look up and Yixing remained silent.

_‘What’s going on? What should I say? What does he think-‘_

**“Renjun…”** he still refused to look up, **“Renjun, please look at me- I’m not angry with you.”** At the pleading tone, Renjun finally swallowed his anxiety and looked up.

It was one thing for Yixing to say he wasn't angry, but it was completely different to actually see; Yixing’s face held all the warmth in the world. His eyes looked sad, but they looked upon him fondly, his mouth bent in a small, sweet smile. 

**“Renjun,”** Yixing started solemnly, **“thank you for being kind and coming to check on me.”**

Renjun’s mouth opened and closed as he tried to find the right words in his flustered state. **"I'm sorry, it was wrong of me to just walk in here and interrupt, I'm sorry I did th-"**

**"No"** Yixing cut him off firmly, **"Don't be sorry for being kind, that's an important quality to have- especially in this industry".** Yixing must have found his own words funny in some way because his mouth twitched upwards a bit, **"Not many are. Kind, I mean...so don't be sorry."**

Renjun, slightly stunned, as Yixing spoke to him. His embarrassment slowly faded away but his worry still remained.

**"Gege,"** Renjun paused feeling uncertain. Wondering if he should ask what he had been dying to ask from the moment he had entered the somber studio, **" I don't want to overstep my bounds. But you seem....unhappy?"** Renjun was careful to word his question as lightly as possible.

Yixing scoffed, making Renjun internally freak out, _'Did I say something wrong again- oh crap! Why am I so bad at this?'_

**"Renjun, you don't have to walk on eggshells. I'm...I don't look that fragile do I?"**

Renjun eye's widened, **"No! Of course not gege!"**

Yixing gave him a playful side-eye, **"Then why are you being so careful hm? Why not just ask what you really want to ask hmm?"**

This time Yixing turned fully towards him, in the process, his hand moved as well, away from Renjun's- immediately he missed the warm contact. 

**"Okay,"** he started, bolstered by Yixing's words, **"What's wrong then gege? Why did you look so glum earlier?"**

**"Better"** Yixing encouraged, grinning at him with a small, bittersweet smile. **“I…I have many struggles Renjun. Just like you and everyone else- but right now it feels like the whole world is on one side and I...well I'm on the other, alone.”** Yixing’s eyes hardened a bit, his small smile becoming a hard line **, “You've probably heard everything about what happened last year, yes?"**

Renjun nodded, he knew Yixing must be referring to the lawsuits. Yixing nodded as well, his expression progressively growing darker as he continued.

**"I feel like everything came crashing down suddenly- and I feel like...it's as if nothing can ever be the same."** He paused, looking away from Renjun to look across the studio, **"Change is scary Renjunnie. And in this business life is already overwhelming"** Yixing looked pained as he said the next part, **"Make sure you have a good pack to stand with you okay? Willing to support you. Okay?"**

Yixing took a deep breath, releasing it slowly as his eyes slid shut. For a second they remained closed, Renjun waited- holding his own breath, waiting to hear more.

Mouth twitching into a small smirk Yixing opened his eyes, **"Breathe Renjun".**

As if following an order he began to gulp in air, not realizing he had probably been holding it for so long. Yixing's bittersweet smile was still in place when Renjun finally looked back up.

**"That's why I'm sad, you know."** Yixing looked calm, but there was a tension around his eyes that qued Renjun in to how serious Yixing was being right now. **"A pack is important in our society for a reason. They're your comfort, your strength,"** Yixing gave another deep sigh, **"your everything".**

Renjun was confused, **"But you do have one- Exo is a pack, right? I'm pretty sure I read about it being official recently..."**

Yixing eyes suddenly turned dull and his lips almost disappeared as he pressed them into a hard line, "mmm" Yixing hummed in a noncommittal way.

_'Did something happen because of Kris and Luhan? Was his pack making him sad?'_

As if sensing his thoughts Yixing added, **"I'm sad because of my own actions Renjun. But-"** he paused looking warily at Renjun, **"pack _is_ important, never forget that...always take care of yours...you'll need them by your side."**

Renjun mulled over his words, wondering what had happened to make Yixing feel he had to give his such advice. He knew all about what had happened last year, the lawsuits SM, the 'Wu clan' scandal. But he had heard nothing much really about Exo's pack, just that they had only gone public recently.

Analyzing the firm look that had taken over Yixing’s eyes he could tell Yixing would not tell him more details.

_'What could help him cheer up? Dancing-maybe. Food- likely. Cuddle pile-too soon?'_

**"How"** again he paused, doubting if he should ask- but the moment he spoke Yixing's earnest eyes caught his own and he decided it was worth the leap, **"How can I help you feel better? Can we go to eat together sometime or get some ice cream?"** he saw Yixing's eyes light up and knew he had chosen correctly, everyone loved food. " **Taeyong-ge said we are eating out together as a group tonight, I know that might be too sudden, but if should be fun! Have you met any of the other trainees? They'll all be there."**

Yixing shook his head warily, **"Only one or two, I haven't had much time to meet anyone outside of Exo really..."** he trailed off looking slightly embarrassed.

Renjun gave him a big smile in return, **"It's okay, you can get to know them tonight and eat some really good food! How does that sound Zhang Yixing gege?"**

For a moment the older beta looked at him wide-eyed before breaking out into a light laugh- his laugh made Renjun smile, it sounded genuinely happy. That was good, that was progress.

_'His smile really is amazing'_ he thought as he observed the chuckling idol.

Yixing gave one last breathy giggle before finally answering, **“You know you can call me Xing-ge, right Renjun? Zhang Yixing gege?”** he guffawed, **"that's too formal".**

Surprise washed over him quickly, **“A-are you sure?"**

Yixing nodded his head, his bright smile bringing out a dimple on his left cheek **, “ Of course! I will be there for you from now on- I want to make sure you are taken care of, we Chinese have to stick together. I’ll make sure to be there for you if you ever need me. So”** he paused dramatically, standing up, putting both hands on his hips, **“You may now call me Xing-ge and I will call you Renjunnie!”**

The beta looked so happy and sounded so delighted that Renjun decided formality be damned! If he wanted Renjun to call him Xing-ge he would. He personally didn’t care for ‘Renjunnie’, it was a bit too cutesy for him. But if it was Xing-ge saying it? Maybe he could get used to it.

**“Xing-ge”** he carefully formed the word, trying it out.

Yixing was nodding in approval.

“Excuse me sunbaenim,” both Yiixng and Renjun were wrenched from their little world by a soft call from the door, looking over he spotted Taeyong bowing just inside the entrance. Taeyong quickly stood and locked eyes with Renjun.

“Renjun-ah, you need to go to your lesson with the others. I walked them down already, to give you some time-” Taeyong paused, eyes darting to Yixing before moving back to stare imploringly at Renjun, “But Johnny and I have to go to our meeting- you need to go now or you’ll be late.”

Renjun quickly stood and bowed to Taeyong and turned to bow towards Yixing as well.

Taeyong quickly continued, “The study room is down the hallway, across the bridge, take the staircase to the left and then-”

“I’ll take him.” A light voice cut Taeyong off.

Renjun looked at Yixing in surprise.

Taeyong’s voice stuttered “I-I wouldn’t want to trouble you Sunbaenim.”

“Yes” Renjun jumped in, “It’s okay, I’m sure I can find it on-”

Yixing held up a hand to stop him, "Don't worry, I can take you it's not a problem Renjunnie", walking across the room to grab a small black bag from the corner before grabbing Renjun’s shoulders and moving them both towards the door.

Taeyong gave Renjun a wide-eyed look of surprise as they were quickly herded through the door, "Renjunnie??" he whispered under his breath.

Renjun could only give him a little shrug of the shoulders with a small smile before being pulled down the hallway by Yixing.

"Oh, Taeyong-hyung!" he stopped, turning to look back at the still gobsmacked alpha, "Can Xing-ge come to our dinner tonight? 

* * *

Renjun had been worried about Yixing at the beginning of the dinner. The beta seemed to only stick close to the Chinese trainees, giving them his full attention as they walked to the restaurant and then also as they waited for the others to show up. Yixing only gave a short wave and quick greetings as the others filtered into the room. Yixing seemed to be enjoying himself, yet Renjun was worried he would not open up to the others.

But he quickly found out he shouldn't have worried one bit. 

The whole night Yixing had that beautiful smile on his face, dimples out. He was laughing with Donghyuck and Johnny whenever they told their jokes, Yixing would chuckle as he listened to Dongyoung and Yuta lightly banter back and forth. He even saw the Exo member move seats to excitedly discuss music production with Taeyong and Mark after Mark mentioned he had been writing a song earlier that day.

And from what Renjun could tell, the other trainees seemed to fall quickly into a sense of ease around the older idol. It was a relief to Renjun- he had hoped this would be good for Yixing and it looked as if it was a complete success!

That is, until it was time to leave.

The moment Johnny mentioned they should wrap up, Yixing's eyes lost a bit of their light and his smile became a bit more forced.

Renjun struggled to move around the room as Yixing stood and left. He almost snapped at Donghyuck to move his chair out of the way so he could run after him but Johnny stood up- motioning for him to wait- and quickly left the room as well. Renjun vaguely remembered Taeyong mentioning Johnny and Exo were friendly since their trainee days, _'hmmm, hopefully Johnny would be able to take care of him, I hope he's not leaving'_ Renjun thought sadly.

When Johnny came back he briefly leaned down to whisper into Taeyong's ear before standing and yelling out "Movie night! Everyone bring your stuff to the 3rd floor!" before leaving once more. Their dorms were only a few blocks away, situated on 3 separate levels of the same building. The third-floor dorm was the biggest and had the 'nest' for those who had presented already.

If they were going to the third floor they would definitely be doing a cuddle pile then. 

The thought brought a smile to Renjun's face, he hadn't been in a cuddle pile with the other trainees since he had arrived, but he had heard a lot about them from Jeno and Jisung. They were supposedly the best cuddle piles around and would completely relieve any stress you had.

As they stood to leave, Renjun cornered Taeyong, "Hyung? Why are we having a cuddle pile?"

Taeyong smiled, "Johnny-hyung convinced Yixing-hyung to stay with us and have a cuddle pile tonight. They just left to go get snacks while we head back."

That was a surprise for sure, "What? Really? Are you serious?" his voice rising with excitement. Taeyong just continued to smile, nodding calmly before turning walk out the door.

"Wait, all night? Doesn't he need to go to his dorm?" at the question, Taeyong paused, his smile slipping slightly. "Renjun-ah, don't worry about it, I'm sure it's fine." 

_'Well that doesn't sound positive...what the heck is happening with Exo's pack'_ it wasn't the first time he had wondered that today, and by the looks of things he would probably never know the answer.

Seeing his annoyed expression Taeyong sighed and added, "It's not my story to tell and to tell you the truth, no one knows the full story...except for maybe Exo. So, just leave it be for now Renjun-ah. Get settled first before you try to go around saving the world- you've only been here for 3 days sweetie." Taeyong was obviously playfully joking with him, but Renjun couldn't shake the feeling that Yixing actually might need someone to save him.

"...alright hyung" Renjun acquiesced as they walked out of the restaurant and into the cold Seoul air.

_'If no one else will, I'll make sure to help you Xing-ge. I'll debut and have an amazing pack, just like you said, and together we'll protect you. I promise.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yixing protection squad activated! :) 
> 
> So, hi guys! I hope you liked this little side story- it is Renjun Centric because it revolves around his viewpoint of first meeting Yixing and (for chapter 2) Yixing's first breakdown with them. So, it's about how NCT and Yixing bonded. Chapter 2 will have more Yixing I promise. And I'm slowly but surely going to be writing out all the side stories and the 2-shot sequel to Belated Bloom. It will probably take me a year or two to publish EVERYTHING, especially because I'll be starting a new SeXing chapter fic and will be updating that along with the Belated Bloom Universe series.
> 
> Anywho, love you! I hope you are staying happy and healthy! Also, go stream Lit because it is fire!!!! I literally lost my mind while watching the MV- it was amazing! :D Anyone else obsessed with H2O and Soul?
> 
> Love, Block_Exo


	3. Halcyon II

Yixing gave a wet cough as he pulled his jacket closer. All around him, people moved quickly, pushing past him, ignoring him as they hurried to their destinations.

It was mid-May, but it felt unusually chilly this evening- people moved quickly to avoid the chill as much as possible. Yixing, however, moved slowly, sluggish and dazed. The wind would bite a bit at his hands and face every now and again, but the pain felt distant as his mind drifted.

His mind felt untethered from his body as he stumbled and shuffled forward, his weak legs carrying him to some unknown destination. He felt torn open. He felt strangely exposed as he huddled down into his jacket and ambled through the crowded streets of Seoul.

There were too many people, too many sounds, too much of everything.

Feeling _everything_ to the nth degree _,_ highly sensitive to all the happenings around him _-_ and yet on some level, he felt numb at the exact same time.

The dissonance left him with an almost unstoppable urge to yell out in utter frustration as his emotions confused him. Yet there was also the urge to simply stop, just sit down and stop everything all together.

These tumultuous feelings manifested in small twitches of his shoulders and frozen fingers every so often.

However, he did not stop. He did not yell out. He simply continued ambling on as his whole body began to shiver lightly.

_‘Why can’t I do anything right?... Why can’t they love me? Am I unlovable?’_ Yixing couldn’t help but think over and over. The fuming face of Byun Baekhyun remained firmly in his sight even as he moved farther and farther from the dorm.

Within the last hour, he had landed in Seoul, gone to the dorms, been yelled at by Baekhyun, and had run away like the coward he was.

_“Is there anything good you have ever done in your fucking life?! Because I would be surprised as hell if you had!"_

Yixing flinched and huddled further into his coat.

Baekhyun’s spiteful words continued to eat away at his soul as he moved farther and farther from the dorms. Over and over they echoed, and Yixing felt as though something was writhing wildly under his skin as he thought about Baekhyun and Exo.

With each step, with every breath of fresh air he took, indignation rose inside of him.

_‘I’ve been gone for months and this is what they have to say to me? I didn’t even get to see Sehunnie and apologize…’_

Just minutes ago, he had felt unwelcome in the place he called home, and in his shock and panic, he had run from the dorm, run from Exo. But now he almost regretted not staying and screaming right back at Baekhyun.

 _‘What right does he have to judge me? He wasn’t there when the CEO had called him into his office, when he had signed those papers so he could stay with Exo. Baekhyun wasn’t there when YiFan had found the chemicals, had blackmailed him into lying for him! He wasn’t there while I had to endure every godforsaken bath on my own. And- God, NONE of them were there for Sehun when he presented._ '

Baekhyun had said Sehun and Jongdae were hurt by him? Yixing knew the past 2 years had been rough, but he wasn’t sure Baekhyun could blame it all on him…right?

 _‘Either way, they are grown men too- even Sehun’s presented now. Why can’t we ever seem to have a civil conversation anymore?’_ What happened to the Exo that cried when they left for China, who cuddled with him after practice? What happened to his pack?

 _‘You hurt them- it’s your fault. Just like Baekhyun said.’_ the dark voice at the back of his mind cut in.

Yixing flinched at the unwanted thought.

But it still gave him pause.

He didn’t want to admit it, but the voice was…it was right…right?

Baekhyun hadn’t told lies - and thinking back over the past year …even if Yixing hadn’t meant to…he had to admit his fault in hurting his pack. He knew that.

_‘You lied to them not once, but twice. You even left the maknae, Sehunnie, on the doorstep of a Hospital and ran off to China.’_

Yixing winced as if in pain. The memory was painful.

Leaving his precious Sehunnie at the hospital just to catch that stupid flight had been one of the hardest things Yixing had ever had to do…except for the biggest lie of all- fabricating his beta presentation. Exo knows the truth, sure, but the lie continues even now.

_‘But it’s for the good of Exo, for the good of the company…I HAD to do it. They just don’t understand that.’_

_‘One bad choice after another,’_ the voice tittered back at him.

All of these thoughts left him feeling a bit hollowed out, like a shell.

Sighing, Yixing shook his head, trying to quiet the dark little voice and ignore the guilt creeping into his mind. Yixing stood there, breathing slowly, mind blank, as the world passed him by.

Slowly the emotions seemed to fade back into the depths of his mind and writhe once more just under the surface of his skin- inner demons waiting for moments of doubt to pounce and devour him once more.

_‘I really need to find a warm place before I freeze to death,’_ Yixing shivered as the chilly wind swept across him as if he wasn’t even wearing a jacket.

“Maybe Heechul is free? No…I think he left for Japan this week? Hmmm, maybe I should call- no, it’s fine. I’ll just…” Yixing trailed off as he looked around.

Turning to his left, Yixing realized this intersection was very familiar. Then looking to his right, he came face to face with the entrance to a very familiar apartment complex. His body had seemingly made its way to the NCT dorms. _‘Huh… I didn’t realize I had run that far…’_

Yixing had stayed with the rookie group a handful of times before, but he actively tried not to intrude on their adorable pack. They were kind of like his pups in a way; happy, comforting, energetic.

_‘Everything Exo used to be.’_

The thought brought fresh tears to his eyes, and the slight feeling of jealousy that bubbled up was hastily squashed down.

This blossoming pack was lovely…and Yixing had no one but himself to blame for the utter collapse of Exo’s pack. He didn’t want to think about that though- he didn’t really want to think at all anymore. He didn’t want to be sad, or angry, or tired- oh God, he had been tired for so long!

His aches and pains came back full force as he slowly climbed the stairs towards one of NCT’s dorms.

He had been running on fumes for the past few weeks, going from shoot to shoot, trying to pack in as much as he could before flying back to Korea for their tour and awards season. SM had run him ragged, but Yixing knew he was partly responsible for the mess Exo was in, and he knew it was his duty to do his best, to put on a good face for Exo and his company.

 _‘…Well, collapsing on national television wasn’t exactly good for PR’_ , but Yixing had tried his hardest to get off the set, away from the cameras before his fatigue got the better of him.

Unluckily for him, he barely stepped past the line of cameras before his legs folded under him, and his vision had gone black. That was two days ago.

After his collapse during filming, he had been released from the hospital just a few hours later and immediately gone back to filming. Ever since then, his body still refused to snap back. The last two days had been a struggle to walk and talk normally- much less run as he did minutes ago.

Right now, on this steep staircase, he felt like he had back then.

Legs like jelly, head aching, arms straining as he slowly approached a familiar door and knocked.

 _‘Why aren’t they answering? Wait…wasn’t I supposed to come here tonight anyway? Wait…why was that…’_ his tired brain couldn’t recall much of anything, head felt like it was full of cotton – the emotional rollercoaster of the day was catching up to him.

His head began to ache more the longer he stood. Exhaustion rapidly consuming his body.

Unable to support him much longer, his legs wobbled, and he lowered himself to the floor next to the door.

_‘I’ll…I’ll just sit here and wait. Someone is bound to come by some time…probably…’_

This chilled night was annoying, the hard floor was uncomfortable, but that was all overridden by the sudden need to shut his eyes and rest.

Wave after wave of exhaustion washed over him as he leaned his head back against the cold concrete wall behind him.

_‘Why won’t my body recover? I slept on both flights, and I’ve been eating two meals a day again.’_

Fatigue settled deep in his bones as the seconds passed, possibly even minutes. Who knows.

Slowly, soft sobs begin to fill the quiet hallway.

Yixing’s shoulders shook slightly and warm tears tumble down his cold, pale cheeks as he lounged against the wall in misery, his body finally giving in to the stress of the day.

Flying to Beijing, flying to Seoul, driving to the dorms, running from the dorms, and finally resting here in this cold, empty hallway.

Yixing finally let himself…grieve; for his pack, for his life that continuously collapses around him, for the pain and exhaustion that inhabits his body like a parasite.

_‘They’ll never want me back. Baekhyun is right. What good have I ever done for them?’_

_‘Just lies, upon lies, upon lies…’_

* * *

Renjun excitedly set the table and swiftly moved about the dorm’s living room. He was a flurry of activity, excited for the night’s festivities.

It was their monthly dinner with all the rookies, but this was special. This was the first time they would all be able to do this since NCT U had debuted.

Even though only 6 of them had officially debuted, they were all happy in the knowledge that they would all debut sometime this year. SM had confirmed it and had even assigned them new managers. Next up was NCT 127 in the summer and later NCT Dream would be announced.

It left a feeling of near-constant excitement in the three dorms NCT occupied.

And today was the first dinner they would have all together again- a commemoration for the NCT U boys who had successfully completed their promotions and launching the new NCT system.

The dorm was loud, seeing as eighteen rowdy rookie idols and trainees were waiting for dinner to be served.

“Renjun-ah! Where are the plates?!” Doyoung yelled out over the loud yells and bangs coming from down the hallway.

The older alpha was helping him prepare the living room, having helped him shoo away all the other members to the rooms earlier so they could begin moving the food into the living room from the kitchen.

Renjun was grateful Doyoung was here tonight to help him. He probably would have had a panic attack by now. Kun and Taeyong had originally been the ones to offer to help him with the dinner, but an hour ago Kun had unexpectedly gone into pre-heat, so Taeyong and Ten had left to help Kun settle in the nest a floor above.

Sadly, they would once again have a dinner without everyone, but no one could blame Kun- Renjun certainly wouldn’t. He himself had presented as an omega a month ago and completely empathized with Kun.

 _‘Maybe next month we can all be together,’_ Renjun softly smiled at the thought as he quickly made his way towards the kitchen.

As he stepped around the corner into the stuffy kitchen, he could see Doyoung frantically looking around for the plates. If he weren’t afraid of Doyoung’s reaction, he would have laughed at the alpha’s utterly confused face.

Renjun coughed to cover a slight giggle that slipped out, “I already set everything out in the living room Doyoung-hyung.”

Doyoung paused, giving him a cute and confused face before quickly slipping into an adoring smile. “Awww! Renjunnie, you are just so cute and so helpful” Doyoung cooed at him, “Thank you for setting the table. The food is almost done too!” from the exaggerated tone, Renjun could tell the alpha was carefully trying to compliment him and show encouragement.

Renjun sighed as Doyoung came over and pinched his cheek.

 _‘They’ve all been like this since my presentation, like I’m some fragile egg that could crack at any second’_ Renjun groaned internally _, ‘I know my mood swings were bad the last few weeks, but I’m pretty sure I’m fine by now!’_

Without knowing, Renjun had begun to pout, causing Doyoung to coo at him even more.

_‘Aish, enough of this.’_

“Hyung, stop please, I’m perfectly fine!... but thank you for the compliment” he ended with a petulant mumble.

Doyoung smiled at him softly before replying calmly, “I know, but the doctor said your hormones wouldn’t level off so easily because of the…presentation process.” Doyoung frowned slightly at that last word.

The pause was where “forced presentation” should have been said. The whole pack had been avoiding using the term, and ever since Renjun had returned from the hospital, they had all been in a tizzy; snuggling, cuddling, and coddling.

Renjun wanted to be annoyed, but he knew Taeyong and Doyoung felt horribly guilty. It had been a fight between the two alphas that had triggered Renjun after all. Even so, Renjun had reassured them many times to stop worrying about him, but it never seemed to stop them from coddling him more.

Renjun slowly lifted his hand and smoothed it over the worried lines of his hyung’s forehead, “Hyung. I’m fine, just act normal, alright- that’s what will make me happy.” Leaning in, Renjun shyly scented Doyoung for a moment before moving around the kitchen once more.

Doyoung smiled gently before moving to join Renjun at the counter, “Okay, I’ll try but I can’t promise anything.”

Rolling his eyes, Renjun sighed, “Really hyung, stop worrying so much. I know that’s a foreign concept to you, but your life will be much better if you learn to let loose, you know”.

Doyoung scoffed, dramatically bringing his hand to his chest, “You wound me, Renjunnie.” At that, they both chuckle.

“Renjun-ah, where is Taeyong-hyung? ...wait, where’s Kunnie? Wasn’t he making the food?”

At the sound of the new voice, both of the Kitchen’s occupants turn towards the source in surprise. Neither of them had smelled a scent before the voice had chimed in. Normally you could smell almost all of the dorm members before you hear them. The only ones without a scent really were the unpresented few; Yuta, Lucas, Donghyuck, Jeno, Jaemin, Chen le, and Jisung.

There, standing awkwardly in the doorway, was Yuta. Fiddling anxiously with his hands as he looked at them expectantly.

Sensing his insecurity, Doyoung moved away from the food and quickly over the Yuta.

“What’s wrong Yuta-hyung?”

Yuta glanced over at Renjun before mumbling, “…I think I broke Hyuck’s computer…”.

Renjun burst out laughing.

“Renjun-ah! It’s not funny” Yuta blushed a bit but looked slightly annoyed, “When Hyuck finds out, he’ll never let it go- so I need Taeyong to come help me figure it out before the insufferable brat finds out.”

Doyoung sighed, “Where’s Donghyuck now? Why were you on his computer without-“

Yuta waved it off, “Don’t worry about that. I wasn't on it for long or anything. Barely like- a minute. Hyuck was playing with Jeno and Jisung in Jaehyun’s room.” Then leaning forward, he urgently whispered, “But that’s why I need TY NOW, before Hyuckie goes back in there.”

“S-sorry hyung,” Renjun managed to speak up through his laughter, “But you’re kinda screwed-“

“Language!”

Renjun rolled his eyes at Doyoung’s exclamation before continuing, “Taeyong-hyung and Kun-hyung are with Ten-hyung upstairs- Kun-hyung’s heat is starting.”

Yuta’s face suddenly took on a sad look before taking on a more worried expression, “A-ahh…I see” after a brief pause, he asked, “Then Renjun-ah can you help me? I would ask Jisungie, but he’s with Hyuck…” Yuta trailed off awkwardly.

Renjun tilted his head as he watched Yuta speak and continued to stare at him for a moment after he had trailed off into silence. Maybe he hadn’t really noticed it as much before, but now it was glaringly obvious how sensitive Yuta is to talking about sub-genders.

He had once overheard Donghyuck talking with Mark about Yuta- discussing how Taeyong and Johnny wanted them to start being sensitive to Yuta’s ‘situation.’ The fact of the matter was, Yuta had not presented, and even now younger members are starting to present- but not him.

Renjun could tell, especially in moments like now, how much that fact was starting to affect Yuta.

“Sure hyung,” Renjun answered with a gentle smile, removing his apron and quickly latching onto Yuta’s arm, dragging him down the hallway. “Let’s hurry though. Dinner’s almost ready, and Xing-hyung promised he’d be here”.

Renjun couldn’t help but smile at the thought. It had been months since they had seen the Exo member in person.

Yuta perked up at the mention of Yixing, “Really? Yixing-sunbaenim will be here?!” Renjun winced at Yuta’s loud exclamation, whirling to cover Yuta’s mouth, “Why- mnmnmm nmnmn n m?”.

“It was supposed to be a secret hyung!” Renjun whined cutely, only slightly annoyed but more amused. _‘I guess the cat’s out of the bag now- I’m sure the whole apartment building heard him.’_

Renjun sighed, letting his hand fall, revealing Yuta’s own embarrassed smile. Sure enough, one by one doors began loudly opening behind him.

“Xing-hyung’s here?!”

“Exo-sunbaenim? Really??”

“Wait, Yixing-hyungnim is coming?!”

* * *

Somehow the SM rookies had calmed themselves enough to gather together in the living room for dinner. At first, Doyoung and Johnny wanted to wait for Yixing to show up. But after shooting off a quick text to the absent Exo member:

“Hyung, we’re starting dinner? Are you almost here?”

and receiving no reply, they decided to go ahead and let everyone eat.

Johnny and Renjun exchanged worried glances throughout dinner, and Yuta and Mark kept glancing towards the front entryway every few minutes.

Dinner was almost over by the time Renjun decides he needs to call Yixing. He was very hesitant to disturb the busy beta, but he was also worried about where his new friend was. _‘He wasn’t crazy, right? Yixing had definitely promised to be here tonight...right?’_

Quickly checking his messages, he could still clearly see the last text from Yixing just as he remembered it:

“Don’t worry. I will. Can’t wait for dinner! 😊 See you in Seoul.”

Yixing had sent that just before his first flight lifted off this morning, but Renjun had been so busy with meal prep he hadn’t thought anything of it when he had received no other texts from the older idol.

But it was definitely weird for Yixing to ignore his text from earlier. So, as the others conversed around him, Renjun quickly slipped away from the table, phone in hand.

_‘Please be alright. We would have heard if something happened to the flight, right? Or maybe while he was driving or walking something happened?’_ the more Renjun thought, the more he spiraled. _‘But what if it was a kidnapper! Or maybe he’s with Exo and just doesn’t want to come here?... Nah, Exo hasn’t called him in weeks. Why would they be nice now? But maybe they were just waiting for him to return? Or what if-‘_

“Renjunnie?” The deep voice of the pack’s second in command broke through his jumbled thoughts. “You okay? Did you call Yixing? What did he say?”

Renjun pulled a face of confusion, “What? No hyung, I was just about to call him.”

This time it was Johnny’s turn to send him a confused look, “Junnie, you’ve been away for a few minutes now- I came to check on you when you didn’t come back.”

Heart fluttering in anxiety, Renjun felt shock ring through him briefly.

“W-what? But I’ve just been here, I was thinking about things sure- about Yixing and kidnappers, and flights, and cars but-” a warm hand on his shoulder stopped him mid-rant.

“W-what?” he stuttered.

“I think you may have been spiraling, Renjunnie” Johnny’s tone is calm and comforting- but it had that gentle undertone Renjun has come to despise from his hyungs- the careful, calculated tone. “It’s okay. It sometimes happens, especially under stress. Do you need your hormone medicine, or maybe you should go rest? Doyoung and I can-“

“No hyung,” Renjun shrugged off Johnny’s hand. He knew Johnny meant well, but he was tired of his hyung’s treating him like glass.

“I’ll admit, maybe I did spiral a bit, but I’m fine- see!” Renjun spread his arms out, giving the beta a sassy look, daring him to question his self-diagnosis. “And once I call Yixing-hyung I’ll be fine. You know me, I’m just worrying over nothing”.

Renjun kept his tone light, but it still probably came out forced- if Johnny’s doubting expression was anything to go by.

Johnny crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow as if to say, ‘Okay then, proceed.’ Going silent and simply observing Renjun as he quickly dialed Yixing’s number.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ring

Johnny’s head tilted in confusion, eyebrows furrowing together, looking off the left as if he were trying to figure out some sort of problem.

At first, Renjun was confused, _‘Did he hear something? Eh, maybe he heard the boys in the other room doing something stupid’_. All Renjun could hear was the ringing coming from his phone.

But as Johnny moved further into the entryway, Renjun realized he could actually hear a different ringing somewhere else in the dorm. Faint but there. But just as he pulled his phone away from his ears to hear it better, the ringing stopped. His own phone went to voicemail.

Johnny quickly moved to the dorm entrance, Renjun following behind him.

“That sounded like Yixing’s phone. Is he here?” of course his hyung would show up right when they call.

Johnny didn’t answer. However, he did open the dorm door- a cool breeze swept over them, sending chills across Renjun’s arms.

No one was there.

_‘Huh?’_

“Let me call him again just to make sure? Maybe he’s on the staircase?”

Quickly Renjun hit the recall button and sure enough a light, airy ringtone came filtering through the doorway. It bounced off the walls making it hard for Renjun to pinpoint where it was coming from- but it sounded close.

“Hyung?” Renjun called out.

Johnny moved further out into the cold hallway.

“Hyung, do you see him?” Renjun asked with more urgency. The ringtone was vaguely unnerving in the empty hallway, leaving Renjun feeling unsettled like something was wrong.

“Hyun-“

“Hyung!” the shout startled Renjun, causing him to lose purchase on the door momentarily. The heavy door nearly closed completely before Renjun quickly corrected himself, nearly slamming the door fully open. Renjun could feel when the door hit something, stopping it about ¾ of the way open.

A loud groan accompanied the sudden stop.

Seeing Johnny absent from the hallway before him, he had a pretty good guess about what he had just smacked with the door.

Renjun let out a worried gasp, moving around the edge of the door and into the cold hallway.

“Hyung, I’m so sorry! Why were you behind th-”

_‘Wh…H-hyung?’_

Just behind the door, Johnny was crouched down- back facing the dorm door. He seemed to be teetering on the balls of his feet as if he had just moved and was a bit off-balance.

But that’s not all.

Laying against the wall was the special guest of the night- it was Yixing.

In seconds Renjun’s knees hit the ground on the other side of Johnny, hands shaking as he hesitantly checked over the unmoving beta in front of them.

“Hyung?! Hyung, what happened? Why are you out here in the cold?” Renjun felt himself begin to panic as Yixing remained mostly unresponsive. His dark, empty eyes slowly following Renjun’s hands as Renjun checked him over.

Johnny leaned forward as well, “Xing-hyung…” the normally calm beta’s voice suddenly sounded furious, “Did _they_ do this?” Johnny’s large hands easily cradled Yixing’s face, his thumbs running along his cheeks, where Renjun could see fresh tear tracks- _‘Oh no.’_

“Hyung, you know who did this?” Renjun was confused. Who would dare make his sweet hyungnim cry?

Johnny ignored Renjun’s question; instead, he stared at Yixing, waiting for an answer.

In return, Yixing looked straight at Johnny with a sad smile before his eyes teared up once more, “I kn-know, b-bu-but” Yixing seemed to choke on his words for a moment, “I h-had to go see them. I h-h-had to t-t-ry Young-ho.”

Johnny gave a shaky sigh, “Hyung, that pack will be the death of you.”

After that, Yixing just kept repeating, “I had to go, I had to try” as Johnny pulled him into his chest and let him sob for a moment.

 _‘So…it was Exo sunbaenim…they did this.’_ Renjun shivered _, ‘who else could hurt him so badly? Those who know him best, right?’_ anger rolled through him at the thought before his anxiety took the reins once more as he watched Yixing breakdown in Johnny’s arms. Obviously, Yixing needed comfort, but Renjun was at a loss. He wasn’t exactly sure what he could do- how to cheer Yixing up.

 _‘Maybe first let’s get inside,’_ his mind supplied.

“Hyung,” Renjun whispered, “Let’s go inside. He’s probably cold”.

Johnny nodded solemnly. He carefully pulled Yixing to stand before quickly changing tactics to tenderly lift him up when it was obvious Yixing couldn’t really stand on his legs. The icy glare never left Johnny’s face though as he maneuvered his precious cargo into the dorm.

“Get Doyoung” was all he said before moving towards the nest room, leaving Renjun shaking in the entryway.

Renjun felt as if he was on the precipice of his own breakdown as he floundered momentarily before focusing on the beta’s order.

_‘Go find Doyoung-hyung’_

Seconds later, he crashed into the living room and nearly tripped over Jaemin as his eyes locked onto Doyoung, and an embarrassing loud whine of distress was wrenched from him.

“H-hyung help,” he whimpered as he nearly bowled over the alpha in his haste to find some sort of comfort as he truly began to panic.

* * *

Yixing is surrounded.

On all sides, literally. Warmth and tenderness radiating from the pack surrounding him, even in sleep.

He needed to get up though… he needed to go to the restroom, but he wasn’t about to cut short the best part of this otherwise horrible day.

All of the rookies were cuddled up around him. Renjun curled around him like a Koala, Donghyuck and Chenle clutching to each of his legs, and Doyoung’s secure arm wrapped around his torso. Johnny’s leg was currently his pillow, and literally everyone else was huddled in the nest around him.

It had been a long time since he'd felt this type of comfort, loving skinship, and surrounded by calming scents.

Exo had been exactly the opposite for a few months now, even before he left the country.

Rarely did he seek comfort from them, having been rebuffed so many times since Tao’s revelation. Skinship? Pfft, what skinship was there to be had with pack members who avoid you like the plague? And scents? Only _soured_ scents filled the air when he was present.

And today?

Well, this whole day felt like some kind of nightmare. It felt unreal and shocking.

For hours he had sat outside the dorm, drifting between anger and grief.

Then, for hours he had clutched onto Johnny in NCT’s nest as Doyoung and Yuta tried their best to help calm him and talk with him.

At some point, Renjun had coaxed him in to eat some food before the whole pack came in to cuddle pile him. Yet he still felt like he was half present. He soaked up the care, soaked up the loving words, ate the delicious food. And yet, the hole in his chest drains it all away at the same time.

Yixing also felt guilty.

Guilty for ruining the boys’ monthly dinner with his doom and gloom, with his mess of a life. Both Doyoung and Yuta had reassured him many times he was welcome, and they had all but held him down when he mentioned leaving so they could enjoy their evening without him.

Renjun’d nearly had a conniption fit when he overheard Yixing even mentioning leaving the nest to eat, much less leaving the dorm that night.

It had warmed Yixing’s heart, yet the sadness lingered like a dark cloud.

Sighing lightly, he began the tedious job of untangling himself without waking any of the sleeping angels.

Yixing sat on the balcony of NCT’s dorm, looking out over the sparkling lights of Seoul.

He had briefly returned to the nest room before quickly leaving, finding a place to think and mope. He felt exhausted, yet he knew sleep would elude him. And seeing his sleeping pups had curled up together in the space he had once occupied, he decided he didn’t have the heart to make a place for himself amongst them once more.

The couch looked comfortable enough, but as he had passed by the balcony, the view called to him. It had lured him outside, and now he sat entranced by the lights of the city.

Who knows how long he sat there, staring off into the night…feeling empty and broken-hearted. It could have been minutes, hours, days- time just stretched on, or so it felt.

Ring

Ring

A light ringtone chimed, breaking him from his silent brooding.

Glancing at the caller ID, he froze, holding the phone as it rang over and over.

Ring

Ring

Ring

_‘…Minseok-hyung?’_

"Hello?"

"Xing, it's Minseok. Can we talk?"

.

.

"...okay."

* * *

Extra Scene:

The doorbell chimed, causing everyone to look toward the entrance of the dorm. It was very early in the morning. Only a few of the boys were awake, meandering around the house- waiting for Doyoung to finish breakfast.

Almost everyone was still cuddled up in the nest. Johnny had moved Yixing back into the nest earlier this morning after discovering the beta shivering on the couch.

And the pack had quickly latched onto him before dozing off once more. It had been a long night for everyone. But they were all glad to help their precious hyung.

Again, the doorbell chimed.

Annoyed, Mark stumbled up from his seat on the couch next to Donghyuck. Almost face planting into the carpet as he narrowly avoided the edge of the coffee table, Donghyuck cackling the whole time.

He was closest to the intercom anyways. He might as well figure out who the hell is ringing their bell at this ungodly hour.

 _‘Probably a manager,’_ he mused, pushing the camera button to view their guest.

“What? Who in the heck” he mumbled out.

It took Mark a second to recognize the young man on the screen. He had only met him once, but he had seen him a few times around SM’s building.

It was Yixing’s manager, Choi Taehyung.

Mark groaned, shivering in disgust at the thought of letting the horrible man into their dorm. Especially seeing how ‘ _well’_ he had taken care of Yixing.

“Hyung!” He called out.

Johnny and Doyoung both appeared quickly in the doorway of the kitchen.

“Ne?”

“What?”

“It’s Choi Taehyung.” Mark couldn’t help but make a face as he said it aloud.

Johnny and Doyoung both flinched before pulling disgusted faces of their own.

“Do…do we _have to_ let him in? Can we just, you know, let him stand out there and freeze to death?” Mark asked, dead serious. Both hyungs immediately answered:

“No, you cannot, mister!”

“Well… I mean…”

Donghyuck chimed in from the couch, “Do it. I dare you.”

“Bet.”

“Boys, NO, we are not killing people- sheesh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> Okay, so I know what you’re thinking: “Why the hell did it take her so long to update a 5,000-word chapter?”
> 
> Simple answer? The US sucks balls at dealing with Covid-19, and as a teacher, I’m way overworked because no district is hiring extra staff for all of the pandemic precautions we have to take. So teachers in my state are learning how to teach online, make online content, AND do like 3 extra jobs on top of that. I’m exhausted, BUT super excited to finally update/ finish this story! 😊 I apologize for the long wait, but I implore mercy- love you all, I promise!!
> 
> Love, Block_Exo


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